End-of-Year Reflection: How to Come Back to Yourself When You Feel Behind

As the year begins to draw to a close, we often find ourselves drawn to reflect—be that on the year that's passed, or where we thought we would be by now. And while this can be a beautiful time to tuck in and deepen our intimacy with ourselves, this call to reflect can also induce stress.

December, one may say, has a way of amplifying everything. It can be magical with its fairy lights, gingerbread, festive music, cozy films, mulled wine, and family gatherings. But it can also be heavy with its myriad of social obligations, deadlines, financial pressure—and possibly the weight of dreams not yet realized.

If you’re feeling tender or disappointed as the year ends, you're not alone. And more importantly, you have not failed.

The Trap of End‑of‑Year Self‑Judgment

Reflection can be nourishing. It can deepen our relationship with ourselves and our inner lives. But reflection without gentleness all too easily turns into self‑criticism.

If you’re not mindful, the mind can slip into a familiar loop:

I should be further along.
Why hasn’t this happened yet?
Everyone else seems to have already achieved this.

These thoughts don’t arise because they’re true. They arise because the mind, in its effort to protect, is scanning for certainty, control, and reassurance.

Or, as I often like to say, they arise in order to signal to you that it's time to come back into the present moment. I truly believe that whenever we are feeling "off" or unwell, these "negative" feelings serve the purpose of catching our attention so we may tune back into ourselves.

See, left unchecked negative thoughts become negative feelings that quietly erode our sense of worth and hope.

But tuned into, these thoughts become an opportunity.

The process of harnessing this opportunity involves letting go of trying to aggressively “fix” or override these thoughts and instead focusing on creating space between you and them. Notice them without attaching. Let them pass without letting them define you. They are not here to punish you, but to pause you — offering a chance to return to yourself with compassion and clarity.

If Self-Reflection Feels Overwhelming Right Now...

When life feels heavy or discouraging, the instinct is often to distract and numb. And while entertainment absolutely has its place, true restoration requires connection.

Connection to yourself, and, if it resonates, connection to a higher power of your own understanding.

This doesn’t need to look like an hour‑long meditation or complicated ritual. It can be incredibly simple:

Sitting alone in silence for a few minutes
Closing the door and breathing on the floor
Going for a quiet walk without a podcast or phone
Letting instrumental music move through you

In that quiet, you reunite with your heart. And that reunion is the foundation of wellbeing.

When Silence Feels Worse Before It Feels Better

As a reminder, if you try to slow down and instead feel irritated, restless, or flooded with thoughts, nothing's wrong. This is a totally normal part of the process—for all of us.

See, when we move quickly for long periods of time, unprocessed thoughts and emotions accumulate. Silence doesn’t create said thoughts, it simply reveals them.

So, yes, at first, the mind may feel louder, messier, more critical. But the more you tune in, the more you allow for clutter to clear. Thoughts still arise, but in smaller doses that pass more ease-fully, giving way to your true wisdom.

Speaking of which...

If You're Feeling Behind...

One of the most painful beliefs we carry is that timing equals worth. That if something hasn’t happened yet, we’ve failed in some way.

But growth does not unfold according to a perfectly plotted timeline.

You're not fully in control, and that's not because you're flawed. It’s just part of our human design. We are, after all, co-creators with the Universe. Meaning, we were never meant to be able to strong-arm our way through our lives. Surrender is part of the deal when our souls come to this earth of ours.

There are seasons of action and seasons of incubation. What might feel like stagnation from the mind’s perspective may be essential integration from the soul’s perspective.

Your soul has its own curriculum.

And some lessons require patience, humility, resilience, and faith — qualities that are fostered best in the liminal space.

Faith, Not Force: A Kinder Way to Move Into the New Year

If you are someone who shows up, works hard, and deeply cares, the medicine is rarely more effort. More often, it’s rest. Trust. Nourishment. Hope.

Faith is not passive. It is an active relationship with the unknown, with source.

It is loosening your grip on the wheel and allowing life to meet you halfway.

You don’t need to figure everything out right now. You don’t need a perfect plan for the year ahead. What you need most is to stay connected — to your body, your heart, your inner knowing.

From that place, the next steps will reveal themselves naturally.

You Were Intentionally Designed, And So Was Your Timeline

If this season feels tender, let it be tender.

If it feels unclear, let it be unclear.

Your dreams exist for a reason. Your timing is not a mistake. And every part of you — your sensitivity, your strength, your doubts, your desires — is intentional.

Nothing needs to be forced.

If this end‑of‑year reflection has stirred something within you, trust that awareness itself is meaningful progress.

Come back to yourself.

That is always the way forward.

And should you desire support, feel free to reach out whensoever.

Warmly,

Mackenzie