Oh god. Oh god.

Some days writing is SO HARD. Like today. I have just spent a good 8 hours working and produced about four lines of good writing that will appear in my second draft. It's hard to explain how such an inordinate number of hours can pass without much to show for it. Looking back at the day, it feels like a blur. Not excruciating, though some days it most definitely is, but just a blur of nothingness. I got no "writer's high" today. Instead my concentration felt weak. My mind was wandering to emails I had to send out to people I want to collaborate with, then OH there I watched it go.. right on to food because must tend to my stomach first before good writing can come...right? Ugh. Then comes the self-chastising bit because I really SHOULD have produced more work than this. Come on, Mackenzie, what is this??! I think.

Oh I wish that fiction writing could be as easy as this right here. Just letting it all flow out. But...well, let's say that's what draft number one was at times, and there's a lot to mend because of that.

I have the strongest desire to strap myself to this chair and force out edits for the next two hours. BUT I won't. It will be useless. I'm not a night owl. Never have been. Don't know why I've tried to make myself think I can be, while also maintaining my early bird habits... Maybe that's why all these posts on here are coming off so incredibly weird and nonsensical. Maybe this is all the by-product of over-extension. No.. That's a clap on the back I don't deserve at all. I could be working more than I am. I think these bizarre posts are more, as said above, just really the product of letting my mind wander onto the screen here.

As annoying as these may be, I'm quite positive if I set rules and regulations to this website, to its posts, I would never be on here. Because this is the ONE spot I can write freely, as if in a journal, and not have to worry about other people's thoughts. I suppose that's the beautiful thing about blogs and why they've gotten so popular (as a medium in general). The ability to just say what we thank sans censorship! It's SO appreciated, particularly by those who are used to their work being "adapted" for marketability, or to suit other platforms' particular voices.

Anywho, here's to another yammering, rambling post! Signing off as I hope to get back to my story at a much earlier hour tomorrow than I did today. My brain most certainly works better then.

(Perhaps one day I'll learn how to write more useful blog posts but until then...bye!)