Very premature and very low birth weight adults who have a socially withdrawn personality might experience difficulty dealing with social relationships with their peers, friends and partners.
-Professor Wolke via Science Daily

There are so many reason I prefer to be alone most of the time.

  1. The world is too loud and fast out there.
  2. I need time to process and digest my thoughts, in quiet.
    Funny thing there is whenever I find my solace, have the time to think, I generally wind up thinking what is it with my psychology that so enjoys this?

True, everyone loves to discover patterns about themselves. Yet most do not spend oh so much time waxing and waning about life and their minds.


Well, in writing my novel I discovered sooooo many truths about myself that I’d hidden in layers upon layers of metaphors, and in going back and dissecting these metaphors I discovered I have an issue I haven’t addressed that’s been with me my whole life:

I am largely pleased by thinking and quiet and analysis because I'm avoidant.

Of what? It seems bizarre. I know I can get along with most real people, and though those are far and few between, it's not that small number that has me prefer to sit under a willow tree rather than at a loud bar. I'd like to think it was other people, wouldn't I? But it's not. It never comes down to that. It comes down to me.

So I’ve been thinking and researching and talking with my parents. And well, there’s a huge chunk that I want to leave to my novel to explain. But! There’s also the fact that premature babies are often found to be avoidant.


Apparently we (yes, me being one of them) experience a bit of trauma, you know, coming out of the womb too early and whatnot. And that affects our psyche and our view of the world and it’s inhabitants, aka our peers.

What's more...

Early stresses experienced in the womb and having over-protective parents are also thought to be a possible factor in effecting a withdrawn personality.
via University of Warwick

According to Alice Park...

Premature babies may be exposed to certain treatments, including corticosteroids, that can change their metabolic and hormonal development, priming them to be more sensitive to stress and anxiety.
via Time

And a last lil bit I dug up...

If you are born very premature, you were not ready to be confronted to noise, light, cold, warm, dust etc. so early. So the world was threatening for you.
Depending on how fragile you were, possibily you had to stay away from your parents, which is traumatic. I think that most of the times now they try to allow physical contact between parents and child, even if fragile. Because it's important and reassuring for the baby.
via Psych Forums

I just find it so fascinating that so much of this, the way we show up in the world, the work we do, the life we wind up leading, comes down to things like this. I wonder how many other writers were born early, or experienced trauma in the womb. Probably quite a few.