Why Difficult People Show Up in Your Life (And How They Can Spark Growth)

If you share the belief that nothing in life happens by accident—that there is a deeper reason behind the experiences we move through—then you’ve likely wondered why we have to navigate “difficult people.”

In my coaching practice, I often work with people who identify as givers. This can be a beautiful quality when it comes from a place of true overflow—when your heart is so full that you naturally want to share love without expecting anything in return.

But giving can also come from a very different place: from the belief that it’s your only option. This often happens when you only feel safe by keeping others happy. To maintain that sense of safety, you put others’ needs far ahead of your own.

Over time, this can lead to:

A fragile sense of stability—because it depends on others
Burnout
Resentment
Disconnection from your true self

So why does life seem to keep putting us in situations with people who take advantage of this tendency?

In my experience, these moments aren’t random. They often appear as invitations from the Universe—opportunities to notice where deeper healing is needed. Not because you’re “broken,” but because you’re ready to strengthen in some areas, soften in others, and reclaim your sense of self.

Most of my clients don’t give only from overflow. There’s usually another layer: the need to give in order to feel safe or worthy. And when that pattern meets someone willing to exploit it, things can unravel quickly.

The good news is that these situations can be catalysts for growth. Healing often begins when you:

Reconnect with who you are—your values, capacity, likes, and dislikes
Create an inner sense of safety
Speak honestly
Uphold your boundaries through action (or intentional inaction)

That first step—knowing who you are—is key. When you’re anchored in your identity, others have less power over you. Their projections don’t land as deeply because, even if they're adamant about misunderstanding you, you know yourself. And this means you're not as easy to manipulate. As well, this means you're capable of moving through this world in accordance with your values (versus out of fear-driven "obligation").

"Letting people be wrong about you or a situation while keeping your peace and focus is the most misunderstood power move you will ever make." -Morgan Richard Olivier

As a final note, this relational work takes time. Many people find themselves "back-slide" at some point. If you find yourself in such a case, I encourage you to show yourself compassion and remember that it’s part of the process, part of your learning. What matters is catching yourself and returning to what honours your wellbeing.

So the next time you find yourself navigating a difficult person, consider, What is this here to show me? How may I be being asked to stand in my truth a little more fully? These moments aren’t punishment—they’re invitations to reclaim yourself.

*Should you desire support, please reach out here.