For years, I felt myself pulled to rest more. When I’d find myself daydreaming, it was as if there was a Pinterest board in my mind that was labeled “relax,” wherein the visuals included things like lush hotel beds, teacups and whistling kettles, sauna houses, steam rooms, fireplaces, old books, fluffy slippers, cozy pyjamas—you get it, everything hygge.
In that time, I began reading books on the topic and trying ever so slightly to lead a more restful life.
But, honestly, it took years for me to actually lean into true rest.
As I did, I began to see that, “Ohh, it’s not actually about that Pinterest board in my mind.” It’s about deep rejuvenation that comes from having a healthy nervous system.
All of those visuals I had are, yes, ways in which anyone could bolster their nervous system, but a lot of the work is deeper than the physical act of doing less. A lot of the work is mental, emotional and spiritual.
For those who are resisting rest, such as I was, it’s likely that, on some level, you know this. You know that, if you were to really slow down your body and mind, you may meet parts of yourself that you’d been running from. And you’re likely intimidated by that.
It’s understandable. At some point in life, you developed coping mechanisms to avoid these aspects of yourself, and that is why you move so fast (even on weekends), why you over-caffeinate to keep up this inhumane pace, why you have grown comfortable staying up there in the confines of your mind, rather than dropping down into your body where memories and emotions are stored.
What’s more, the world around us isn’t exactly encouraging us to lead a deeply healthy lifestyle. The top value of most of our societies is productivity, and also adherence to “how things are done.” Meaning, in a large majority of work settings, you could be efficient, and yet you’re rarely truly rewarded for this efficiency. Instead, you’re often encouraged to either wait out the clock or grab more work to do—because “that’s just how it goes.”
And the thing is, though many will grumble about their jobs, there is a level of comfort that exists in staying busy, because, again, this is a means of avoiding the deep work—of meeting ourselves.
The Exiles Within
In the language of Internal Family Systems (IFS), each of us carries Exiles. These are the tender, vulnerable parts of ourselves that have been pushed away, often in response to pain or trauma. They hold our deepest fears, our unmet needs, and the stories we’ve been told about our unworthiness. When we avoid rest, we are often engaging in a form of managing—busyness becomes the shield that keeps us from feeling the discomfort these Exiles hold.
Our Managers—the parts of us that plan, organize, and control—step in to keep things moving, to keep us “productive” and “safe.” They convince us that if we just do more, achieve more, become more, we’ll finally outrun the weight of those buried feelings.
But, of course, our Exiles don’t disappear just because we’re ignoring them. They linger, whispering through our restlessness, our anxiety, our sense of disconnection.
Why the Universe Calls Us to Rest
The Universe knows what we so often forget: we are not here to run from ourselves. We are here to know ourselves. To heal. To become whole. And true rest—the kind that retires the Managers and allows the Exiles to emerge—is essential for this journey.
Rest is not a passive act; it’s a revolutionary one. When you allow yourself to slow down, you create the space to meet the parts of you that have been silenced. You begin to reconnect with the truth of who you are beneath the survival habits, the roles, the stories. This is where nervous system health comes in.
When all parts of you—even the Exiles (or, “your shadows” as we often say in the personal development world)—feel seen, heard, and held, you create safety in your body, mind, and soul.
When you lean into this work, you give your nervous system permission to shift out of fight-or-flight and into a state of regulation. From here, you can access clarity, creativity, and connection—the building blocks of the life you dream of creating.
Rest as a Portal to Creation
All of this to say, if you’re someone who wants to intentionally create your life, there’s a reason you may be longing for rest: It’s a sacred part of the process.
When you allow yourself to slow down and tune in, you begin to align with your authentic self. This is the self that knows what you truly desire, not what you’ve been conditioned to chase. This is the self that can dream boldly and create courageously because it’s no longer weighed down by the unprocessed pain of the past.
In this way, rest becomes a portal. It’s not about stepping away from life; it’s about stepping into it fully. It’s about peeling back the layers of “should” and “have to” until you’re left with the essence of who you are. From this place of alignment, creation flows effortlessly. You’re no longer creating from a place of fear or scarcity but from a place of abundance and possibility.
Answering the Call
The next time you feel the pull to rest, notice the resistance that arises. Notice the voice that says, “I don’t have time for this,” or “Rest is lazy.” These voices are your Managers, trying to protect you from what they fear you’ll find in the stillness. And remember: rest is not the enemy; it is the invitation.
The Universe is calling you to rest because it knows that you cannot create the life of your dreams while you’re disconnected from yourself. It knows that your Exiles/shadows are not something to fear but to integrate. And it knows that when you rest—truly mind, body, soul rest—you begin to remember who you are. From there, anything is possible.
Helpful Tools
Yoga Nidra, “the divine feminine sister of Transcendental Meditation (TM)”
February’s Workshop on Moving From Mind to Body
Working with an IFS-therapist
Support via 1:1 Coaching
