What Free Writing Has Taught Me About Myself | On Intuition & Self-Acceptance

. 2 min read

Hi friends,

How are you all doing? It's been a while since I've been on the blog, but that's because I've really been pouring my writing energy into these short fiction bits I've been sharing on social. I can't say how therapeutic it's been to have this new outlet of super short story threads. And I mean therapeutic in ways I didn't even realize when I wrote my last post.

Storytelling in this loose, free way—without an agenda or the forced adherance to the structure of a novel—has allowed me to see plainly where it is my mind wanders to most frequently. In other words, it's made my interests very plain.

In particular, I've found a kinship with Indigenous peoples. I love how, for them, medicine comes in the form of stories and herbs; how there is more to this world than we can readily see; and how there is no stark line between the supernatural and the natural.

I have always let this culture inspire writing and journaling, my way of life, but recently there's been a shift. And this is what I wanted to share with you guys now most of all.

buddha

I've always been weary of seeming all over the place. I know that's how I can come off (I am predominantly vata in the Ayurvedic system). And I've had enough "feedback" over the years to know that can irritate people, lead them to judge. Because of that fear of judgement of my, let's say, "experimenting with the many spices of life," I boxed myself in. I told myself I ought to focus entirely on novel writing so as not to be that girl wearing 600 hats.

And there is validity, of course, to lazer focus on one thing. It may have been necessary to have been that way while writing The Play House.

But!

indg-1

The thing I've come to recently is that a fully integrated person is not one that does solely one thing. Or, that doesn't have to be the definition anyway.

What I believe is that a fully integrated person is one that has expressed his or herself fully. What that means for me is that I'm allowing myself, finally, to take courses online that fall in line with my non-writing interests, which will allow me to serve others who need healing in forms outside of storytelling.

I have started two, and have lined up a few others, including coaching, NLP training, herbalism, and Huna. I cannot say how good this feels. I don't feel fragmented at all either, as I thought I may originally. I feel like I'm coming home.

You will actually see all of these modalities in The Play House. This I find so interesting—it's as if writing this book was my subconscious' way of opening the doors to my dharma. I'm grateful as hell for it. And I'm happy to be sharing this with you guys, finally.

So, now let me ask you, have you been following the trail of your interests this quarantine period, too? If so, where has it led you? Let me know! I always want to hear <3

xx

Mackenzie

PS. I recently started an IGTV series, and in the latest episode Carina Jung and I chatted about this exact topic of letting go of fear to live your truth. You can watch it here! Much love, you guys.