“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”
― Benjamin Mees
Hello my loves!
It's been a while. I hope you're all taking care. Over here, life has been spinning, shifting, morphing, and evolving at a warped speed—and I'm loving it. I've been jumping off cliff after cliff after cliff. And in the process, digging deeper and deeper into my own values, shedding the rest.
It feels incredible.
Looking back, what led to this rapid change was a thought. And it went like this: You have this dream of being part novelist, part mindset coach, but you keep saying you'll get there at 30. What the heck are you waiting for? The stars have already aligned. The Play House has been acquired. COVID has made it such that your schedule has simmered down. You're ready for phase two. Act now. Act now. Act now.
I call thoughts like this intuition. And, I don't know how intuition shows up in everyone else, but, for me, it shows up just like that. Via a thought that repeats itself as it fades out, like an echo in a well. And then it returns every single day (many times a day) until I listen to it.
The first time I ever experiened this was with respect to working out. Aside from long walks, I never exercised prior to 2015. I mean, I'd start "regimes" now and again, stick with them for a month or so, and then stop. But in 2015, this thought bubbled up. It sounded like: you body is deeply craving movement. And it came through so loud until, again, I had no choice but to surrender and listen. That was when I found Ballet Beautiful. I've not gone a week without BB since. It transformed my body. But more than that, it transformed my trust muscle. I knew from then on that my intuition was powerful, and it was there to guide me to where I needed to be.
This was what I had to remember earlier this year when I got scared to step into the role my soul was begging me for: that of a coach. I had to remember that all the bullshxt running through my mind pertaining to why I couldn't do this thing that I was born to do was fear that stemmed from other people's opinions. Did I believe I had the power to help people with their thoughts and the processing of their emotions? Yes. But, in the same breath, did I carry fear that people would whisper about me behind my back if I pursued this line of work? Yes.
When I got super clear with myself on my fear of others' judgement, and it being the only thing holding me back, I laughed. I mean, seriously, it's crazy because I know that no one that is meant to be in my life is going to whisper behind my back. What's more, I believe whole heartedly in the idea that when people do show their true colors in this sort of negative way, it's only a gift, because, as someone wonderful in my life recently reminded me, there shouldn't be stipulations to your relationships with people. Our friends, family members, partner, should love and honour us exactly as we are.
I admit, this is challenging to put into practice if you have grown up as a people pleaser as I most definitely have. But taking that first action step is powerful for breaking out of that. As is the subconscious, meditative work.
The other thing I should note about worrying about others 24/7 is that it does not serve others. Full stop. What serves society, what serves humanity, is unleashing your gifts. I believe this so deep to my core. Just think about it. Imagine spending your life bowing your head to make those around you feel good about themselves. What is the best you can accomplish? The best is that you make someone feel not small when they're around you. (Because you're shrinking.) Now think of the reverse. Imagine spending your life being your most glowing version of yourself. What is the best you can accomplish? SO MUCH. You can inspire everyone around you. That means, your family, your friends, your partner, your online communities. And for all those that you aggravate? You can shrug your shoulders, think oh well. Or, you can smile. Because here's the truth about those folks, you're inspiring them, too. You're making them angry, and, if they're the reflective sort, you're making them think. You're making them wonder why the hell they're so pissed. And THAT is powerful. That is where their transformation comes in.
And that is a beautiful thing.
So, if you're sitting where I was in January, if you have a dream that you're not acting on, consider this your call. Right now. This is the sign you've been looking for to act. It's going to be scary, yes, but it's going to be worth it. I promise you. There is so much coming from you on that other side of fear.
Lacking clarity? Check out my Raw Reflection. It serves just that.
Want to go deeper on this message? Listen to this podcast I recorded with Stephanie Bellinger for her show The Spiritual Boss Babe Podcast. It's all about this.
Sending much love,
M
